There was one episode on Saturday that was...kinda funny. Ignatius was hanging monkey-like onto the edge of our console table, risking a topple. I told him he's not allowed to do it, and the reason why. As expected, his fingers slipped, and he stumbled/fell onto his tush. I helped pick him up as he was slightly upset/pained. He immediately wanted me to carry, which I refused as I didn't want to "reward" his naughty behaviour. I held him in my arms, seated, for a while as he climbed all over me, crying to be carried. When that didn't help, I stood up. He came towards me, still wanting to be carried. I backed away. Somehow, it degenerated into us walking (me, backwards and him, forwards with arms outstretched) all over the house! Definitely not the desired outcome! I was lost as to what to do next, so it was back to me sitting down and holding him while he vented his frustration, and subsequently, him rolling on the floor by himself. After about a 5mins screaming spell, he stopped.
Why do they do it? Babycentre suggests that it is not due to limits testing, but due to frustration. They experience and understand a lot more, but are unable to respond in language. According to this article, I think we're doing fine. Just need to be consistent so as not to confuse the toddler. Here's another article on some tantrum control tools.
We also employ some of Supernanny's methods, like stooping down to be on eye level with the toddler when disciplining them. I've seen Daddy do it, and it does seem to help. He kneels down, issues a warning, and when Ignatius violates the "law", Daddy will carry out his threat. Ignatius does protest (read: scream) but only for like 5seconds, then stop and pout and move on without further protest. Wow. Amazing. Wish all episodes were like that.
said...
at least ignatius is "teachable"
we tried the method of holding him while seated on the floor.No use, he still stamped his feet,rolled around the floor for a good 25 mins till we picked him up. sigh!
J's mommy
said...
somehow, the methods all kinda stress not giving in. coz then they know if they cry long enough, u'll give in eventually.
i think we would have continued letting ignatius cry until he stopped, regardless of time. dat was wat we used to do in the closet. i think we've stood in there for 40mins before.
then again, each toddler is different. gd luck with J!
said...
yes, i agree about not giving in.
we gave in after 25 mins cos J is still having runny nose and cough and all the crying made it even worse.
And i realise that even when P and i don't give him to him, there's always the maid. Last night she was trying to distract / calm J until i had to tell her to ignore him. Same thing today, each time J got into a hissy fit, she'll try to coax and pacify him. Can't blame her lah, she doesn't know when to exercise discipline on J and is afraid that i'll scold her for ignoring J.
J's mommy
said...
yours is maid. mine is parents in law. they also like to distract him. sigh.
said...
aiya. grandparents are all the same lah. what to do... we can only discipline when M is at home with us. with grandparents, i've learned to let things be. except for one thing, eating at the table. my mil likes to carry and feed M when he makes slightest fuss during meal times. if i'm ard, i insist M eats at the table and ignores his cries, with or without my mil ard.
said...
thank goodness hubs and i sing same tune with my mil. can't imagine fighting the battles alone.